Safe

It’s raining and dreary looking outside and I kinda like it. I’ve always enjoyed the sound the cars make on 800 N when the road is wet.  It sounds cozy, somehow. I can hear outside that the world is wet and probably a little on the cold side and I’m in the warm, safe cocoon of my little house.  I love my little house.  It’s small, it doesn’t have the yard I want and it has an HOA but it’s nicely finished on the inside. It has things that I didn’t have before like air conditioning and a dishwasher. There is a tree outside that is covered with flowers in the spring. The walls are all nicely painted, and it has nice trim around the doors and windows, and the main floor has a nice shade of bead board. It’s much too cluttered, and full of other people’s stuff, but I know that is only a short chapter of the book that is my life in this house.

The book began with me moving out of a bad situation and into a better one. I was looking for a safe haven and I didn’t care what it looked like and was willing to accept anything as long as it wasn’t where I was previously. So many things happened right when I needed them to happen and I ended up not just in an okay place, but in the Perfect Place. It turned out to be something really cute, and exactly what I had always wanted my previous house to look like. The neighborhood turned out to be a place where I fit in like I never fit in at the old place. I am close to my best friend who was my lifeline during that time. I miss certain things about the old house, but I knew I couldn’t manage similar things in my new life. For example, I wasn’t going to be able to take care of a yard and here I don’t have to. While I was able to keep my dog and three cats, I wasn’t going to be able to take care of the geese, a sheep, and a hive of bees. The HOA wouldn’t allow those things anyway.

The book has continued on with ups and downs and blessedly so many more ups than downs. There are a very few things that I miss, but I kept and gained so many more things that I needed and wanted. I had started to say ‘as luck would have it’ but I know it isn’t luck. It was Divinely guided by a loving Heavenly Father that has always looked out for me and taken care of me. He has always placed people around me to help take care of me and has always placed me in positions where I could take care of myself. I acknowledge this without reservation.

I acknowledge these things, because changes are coming to my life again and I’m trying not to be afraid by reminding myself that I have always been supported and cared for by visible and invisible means.

My little house is just one small example of this. My warm, safe cocoon where I can listen to the rain.