Today, I am both knitting and crocheting, chatting with my Mom, and playing World of Warcraft. I am decidedly multi-tasking and multi-craftual. The sun is shining and my mood is cheerful. How could this gorgeous colorway not prompt a few smiles?
A batch of Italian sausage is defrosting in a covered pan on my stove and will be turned into several servings of my spaghetti sauce. It takes a lot of Excedrin and Advil to get me to the point where I can do any kind of cooking project. As I wish to preserve my kidneys for as long as possible, I stay off the pain meds unless I really need to get through something. Like the funeral tomorrow and the various family gathering that will result. I’m probably going to be able to feel my hair growing.
My energy levels have been so low and pain levels so high that I just haven’t been able to fix regular meals which leaves me at the mercy of quick, easy, and bad for me carbs. I want to make a bunch of freezer meals to help with this and one of my favorites is spaghetti sauce. Yep, pasta is carbs so I don’t pour it over pasta. My sauce is so chunky, I either eat it straight like a stew or maybe have it over a steamed veggie. I take a regular canned sauce and add in chunks of italian sausage, olives and mushrooms and let it simmer until the flavor of the sausage makes the whole thing beyond fabulous.
After the spaghetti, a large batch of stroganoff will be attempted if I have time before the in-laws descend upon me for a pre-funeral family gathering.
In between all the tasks for completing the freezer meals, a round of knitting or two will happen. I started a hat for Danica. It was looking like it would be a little too small and once I had started the color changes, the 2×2 rib band looked like it should be longer. I frogged it and started over with a few more stitches. I’ll go for 4 inches of rib, change colors, go up a needle size and start the stripes. I think this will give me the slouchy look I’m hoping for.
There is very little in this world that is as frustrating as wishing for justice and needing fairness and knowing it’s just not going to happen. Wishing for people that have wronged the ones you love to just stop and be decent. Wishing for people that should have your loved ones back, only find out that they really don’t and that they have absolutely no intention of changing or apologizing.
People, if you have children and are divorced, by all that’s holy communicate with your ex partner about the kids. Please. Really. Seriously. Don’t quazi communicate through the kids. They hate it. They will resent you for it. Don’t post a picture on Facebook of your son in the ER and not tell the other parent, especially when you have that parent blocked on Facebook. Don’t let another child inform the other parent, because that’s just going to spread misinformation, not enough information, and cause confusion. Don’t invite the whole family, including your former in-laws to your son’s important religious event and leave out the other parent. Don’t just hope that the child has the presence of mind to tell his father. Don’t let the father find out because a grandparent just happened to call to ask if he wants to carpool.
Communication. It’s a thing. Not communicating with your ex is abusive to the children. Communicating through the children is abuse. Complaining about your ex to his elderly grandmother is abusive. No one really wants to talk to their ex, but just do it anyway. Send a text. Send an email. Set up a frikkin’ Google calendar if you think you are just so fragile, victimized, traumatized and such a speshul snowflake that sending a text will cause you to melt like the vindictive witch you really are. Posting the kids events on a Google calendar will not hurt you. And it just might show your children how to behave like a decent human being.
People, if you have siblings who are divorced, for the love of God don’t enable that ex spouse in her bad behavior and just expect your brother to just suck it up an play along. Don’t pose in pictures with someone’s ex and expect that he’s not going to be hurt. Don’t expect that no one is going to say anything about it. Stand up for your family. Support your family. Standing passively around and doing nothing is not standing up for your family. It is okay to gently and politely say something isn’t appropriate or could cause hurt feelings. And if someone should maybe point out that you’ve hurt your brother’s feelings, don’t ignore them. Don’t lecture them for 2 hours and 20 paragraphs on their behavior. Own up to yours. Have the decency to at least say “Oh hey, I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just didn’t know what else to do. I’m really sorry”. That, at least, would be honest.