It’s a lovely pattern

I’m staring at a pattern, a sweater pattern I really like and have admired for a long time. The pattern is not sized for my demographic group. As I sit and stare at this beautiful pattern, I wonder several things.

Can I figure out how to make it in my size?

After I do all the figuring can I really knit it?

Is it worth it?

Maybe I could make it the size I would like to be and by the time I finish it be that size?

Do I often delude myself like this?

Why couldn’t there be something in Big Girl Knits that I like? Would I have thought it worth my time?

Why don’t I think I’m worth the time of knitting something, anything, for me, no matter what size it is?

Why does the media insist on covering their magazines with women who are already tiny and beautiful but still must be airbrushed into unreality?

Why are there dads out there who tell their daughters that they used to be pretty and to go home and lose 50 pounds?

Why are there daughters out there who go home and gain 140 instead?

Do I really want to spend $100+ on yarn just in case I can make a sweater I like and fits?

Why do I have to keep seeing sweaters that I would knit if only _____________ ?